| Quote of the DAY BO He's definitely ok ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR HOPE You know Brady, if our son had an identity, a life, some sorta focus, he'd really remind me of you. ABE I swear, if they don't improve these storylines, we'll all be wishing we were blind - and deaf! SOVIET STAN I one scary scary guy - now I gotta show de amerikans vat I hev up my sleeve - dis tacky doll! BILLIE (defiantly) Say, fella! Who you callin a tacky doll?! BO Billie, the only help yer gonna find is in acting 101 ... BILLIE Huh? What's acting??? Wednesday March 23 Quote of the DAY BELLE I'd do anything for you ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SHAWN Would you ride my bike after a couple of gin and tonics? JOHN Son, Uh think yer needin an invention. It's not safe to drink an drive ... BELLE Don't you mean an intervention? JOHN Doh! Uh can't think straight on account of those drugs! Kate, get me some more stuff, muh stash is runnin low! TONY I bet you wish back for the good old days when things made sense and good and evil came face to face after romances and in the most glorious adventures ... JOHN And that's a fact! Tuesday March 22 Quote of the DAY BART The luck stops here ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SHAWN So gimme a beer! JACK I need to get home ... BILLIE Someone get me a comb! HOPE This dialogue goes nowhere ... BO Cos Georgia's everywhere! BART The ratings are a low amount ... JACK Cos we need more of us and the dastardly count! TONY Jack, I had no idea that you were a fan ... JACK But you're so much more fun than that Soviet Stan! Monday March 21 Quote of the DAY BELLE I came up because I love you ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SHAWN I love you too and I love this booze, man ... BELLE What are you doing? JOHN She's got a point, son. That bottle is worthless cos ye can't even smoke it! JAN Smoke gets in your eyes - another love song ... SHAWN Not you again! JAN Back in the saddle again - another love song. BELLE You are hopeless. SHAWN Yeah. Hopeless. JAN Hopelessly devoted to you - Grease. BILLIE Oh my gosh! I wonder if Georgia is in Greece! Georgia sounds like a Greek name! VIC Stay away from Greece, you twit! You want their ratings to tank, too?! PHIL Mom, dad, Belle - I'm being held hostage by Lenny and Squiggy but don't worry, I know I'll survive somehow ... Friday March 18 Quote of the DAY TONY I always come back ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BART You sure do, boss! You and me, for daytime, we're the salt and pepper, the bread and butter, the bacon and eggs, the ... TONY Enough already! JACK I feel so abandoned. We do our duet and now I'm suddenly a second banana ... BILLIE Banana! Oh my gosh! Banana reminds me of George of the jungle! What if he's really Georgia! I have so much to do. First I have to listen to that Boy George tape again ... BART That is one nutty bird, boss. Is she in the union? TONY Unfortunately - yes. However, she is not aware of the fact that she is on Days of Our Lives. She believes she is an extra on the set of a B movie about biker girls gone wild ... It is all quite tedious, I'm afraid. Just another reason to hide out in the castle! Thursday March 17 Quote of the DAY TONY I will not allow anyone to interfere with my well thought out plans ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JACK Hold on Count - I feel another song coming on! BART Oh brother. MADISON You two are brothers? TONY Bart, do shut up! I simply love the way Deveraux attempts to divert my well thought out plans! JACK (singing) L is for the way you love to hate! TONY (singing) O is for the only one - that's Kate! JACK (singing) V is very very DiMera extraordinary TONY (singing) E is even more than anyone I do abhor can TONY & JACK Love is more than just a mushy plot Cos love won't bring soap opera ratings squat! JACK (singing) Love to hate a villan! TONY (singing) One who's so well dressed and willin' JACK & TONY (singing) Love with hate is best soap stuff to view! It's true! We're just a couple of fellas keepin it fresh and new! TONY Ah, now that has put me in an excellent mood. Say your thanks, Bart. BART Your thanks, Bart. Wednesday March 16 Quote of the DAY NANCY You have just upset my daughter! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR NICOLE By being here? NANCY By being so mannish! You are the most unfeminine hussy I have every seen! NICOLE You're a b*tch! NANCY No, I'm a diva with millions of fans who want me and Craig back! How many fans do you have, you trollop? NICOLE Well, there's always ... ummm ... lemme think ... NANCY Excuse me, I have no time for this. I have a fan event to attend and my cell is ringing off the hook. Ta! ALICE Nancy and Craig ... they'll be here always! SOVIET STAN Vell vell! I am now seeink vit not my own eyes dat the Flyink Nun is hiding at the pier vith bandage over eye ... more useful information! Tuesday March 15 Quote of the DAY JACK You're the imposter! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR FAKE JENNIFER This is Hollywood. Everyone's an imposter, babe. REAL JENNIFER Oh my gosh, I keep hearing Jack's voice. JACK I'm here, Jennifer! You just need to follow the yellow brick road to find me! SOVIET STAN I got more good stuffs for you and you gonna like to smoke it in dis pipe ... JOHN Is it from Iowa? SHAWN Cut! I am so tired of all these Iowa jokes! When are they gonna end? JOHN Soon as ya gimme my best pipe back, son, so where is it? SOVIET STAN I got lots rubles so you don't gotta worry nothink. Monday March 14 Quote of the DAY JACK That is weird ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JACK I am referring, of course, to this shoddy looking shirt. I used to have quite a spiffy wardrobe here in Salem. Thus, I must conclude that I am presently dreaming. JENNIFER Jack, I have a confession to make. I am related to the Doublemint gum twins ... JACK Jennifer, woman of my dreams - literally! You look so healthy, so slim, so youthful ... what's your secret? JENNIFER It's that thing I do with my hair. It brings good luck. BRADY Show me so I can do it too! These days I need all the luck I can get ... SEXY REXY I'll tell ya who needs luck - the script gremlin. I told the whole Internet I am mad on account of him making me act like Mimi's clueless sidekick for so long ... and everybody knows the writer wouldn't have done it so I am convinced a gremlin sabotaged some of the scripts. JAN Damn! They're on to Kupee again! Friday March 11 Quote of the DAY JACK How ...? LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BART now brown cow! Har har har, this stuff is just too funny, boss! TONY I regret to inform you that I am in absentia today. BART Oh. Where the heck is Absentia? I can't find it on the map ... BILLIE Look near Georgia - that's where you'll find everything. PHIL'S CAPTORS We gonna kill you! PHIL You two have the worst cross between a Swiss German accent and an Australian one! I simply cannot take it anymore - shoot me now, pulease! PHIL'S CAPTORS First we gonna play twister ... we need da third guy for it and Soviet Stan not talking to us anymore. Ever since he get back from Iowa, he just not da same guy, ya ... Thursday March 11 Quote of the DAY SHAWN I know what you did to me ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JAN Would you get over Iowa already! JOHN Pills ... need ... CHELSEA Herbs ... need ... SOVIET STAN Here I come kiddies! Vat you vantink today? I gots green pills, red pills, blue vuns, and even I got some special root I findink in front of studio today ... Palm tree root, sure to make da man horny ya ... CHELSEA I'll take a barrel of that stuff! Wednesday March 9 Quote of the DAY CHELSEA Wanna dance? LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR PATRICK Who's Dan? SOVIET STAN Hev some more corrupt herbs ... BO Billie, I want ya ta know that DNA ain't in a wig or a hair extension. JOHN Gimme a darn shirt already and lemme get outta this bed! KATE They will ... you just have to sign the contract they want you to. SHAWN Do it, man, or you'll end up in a cage same as I did! BRADY You mean we are supposed to have contracts? Now I am really confused. Grandad, I need your help ... VIC You're supposed to think I'm dead, you twit! Tuesday March 8 Quote of the DAY BELLE Philip is missing! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SHAWN Yeah, he's missing a great party,man ... JOHN Uh know what ya mean! It's the writin - look what it can drive us to! SOVIET STAN I hev more free pills of corruption for my Amerikan friends ... TONY I simply cannot stand the pathetic way you wear your clothes! You are the anti-thesis of elegance! SOVIET STAN But you created me. TONY A mere technicality ... BELLE Boohoohoo! Yahoo is down again! HOPE Bo, I don't know how to tell you this, but Billie's not real ... she's a muppet. BILLIE Muppets are very real and we have feelings too! Monday March 7 Quote of the DAY JACK Tony is alive! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR ALICE Where's Austin Power? I got another job for him! AUSTIN Schwing! ALICE I'll cut to the chase. My dear, I need you to bring DiMera down ... AUSTIN Yeah baby! (pause) What's DiMera? TONY What a bloody twit! BART Shoot! Looks like I gots me some competition. PHIL My name is Bond, James Bond ... Friday March 4 Quote of the DAY JENNIFER I love you, Jack ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR TONY Damnation! Another happy reunion I was unable to thwart! This is quite insufferable! BART Cheer up, boss. Nobody wears black leather as cool and evil as you do, with that touch of savoir dare ... TONY Savoir faire. BART That too! SOVIET STAN Vanna buy some ... TONY Shut the bloody hell up! For the last time - I am simply not interested in your tacky black market products! Thursday March 3 Quote of the DAY PATRICK I realize I'm not Jack ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JACK Ya think?! Jack is nimble, Jack is quick Jack is never like Patrick the d*ck! ABBIE My dad is so cool. SOVIET STAN Say, you vanna buy Amerikan passport for ten rubles? JACK No thanks comrade - I got a wave to catch! Wednesday March 2 Quote of the DAY HOPE We're stuck ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JOHN Uh'm stuck in this darn bed! SOVIET STAN Dis moustache not feelink so goot ... Mebbe stuck. BILLIE I'm stuck in the past and stuck in storyline limbo. PHIL I'm stuck in this condemned disco with a bunch of guys who think they're in combat ... REX I'm stuck in cluelessness. You see what happens when you're a handsome rich genius - first they take away your riches, then your genius ... KATE I'm stuck playing everyone's mother or their enemy because I'm someone's mother. Hell, I look younger than the whole lot of them. JOHN And that's a fact. THUMP Last but not least, I too am stuck - in my own bloated head! Tune in tomorrow when the DaysCafe finally dares to show who got fired last time ... JUDGE KENNY I would like to point out that it was not me. You simply do not fire a man with a robe and a hammer. SOVIET STAN Hammer! Yes, I feelink at home now! Tuesday March 1 Quote of the DAY TONY No questions, just do what you have to do ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SOVIET STAN Revenge ... on all the imperialists ... BART Boss, I think you accidentally pressed the Cold War button on that funky walkie talkie. TONY Damn props department! SOVIET STAN I know you need vodka. JOHN Vodka? How the hell am Uh supposed to smoke that! Monday Feb 28 Quote of the DAY BO We'll get through all this ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR MARLENA This food is crap! How can we get through it? SAMI I'll never get through this bad hair day ... ROMAN Dis cold is hurtin my pronunciation ... JOHN Somebody change these sheets or Uh'm not gunna get thru it! BO Ok, I take it back. We won't get through it but there's always another network .. TONY Aha! I see you're onto my secret weapon! February 25 Quote of the DAY REVENGE! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SAMI Huh? Did you say Avengers? I never watched that show. LUCAS Sami has no friends. BILLIE Me neither but that doesn't stop me from crashing their dinners, parties, lives to which I am not invited. NICOLE What are you doing here? NANCY I own this place, which is more than I can say for you. Get lost, you mannish hussy! THE VOICE Revenge ... Press a different button on your phone and you will also hear that word in French, Spanish, German or Swahili. 50 cents for local calls, 3 dollars a minute if overseas ... Revenge ... Thursday February 24 Quote of the DAY CRAIG I hate that I'm not there. LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR NANCY The viewers hate it too, sweetheart! Why, every day fans ask when we are going to move back to Salem for good! WILL I am divorcing my parents. SAMI Revenge. Revenge . Revenge. BILLIE Georgia Georgia muppet me There's so much for Bo to see KATE I'm fired. JOHN And that's a fact. Wednesday February 23 Quote of the DAY SAMI They are all gonna pay ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SHAWN Welcome to Salem's garage sale, where everyone has to pay! JOHN How much fer this razor? TONY The 24k gold one is a million euros, the plastic one is 25 cents. BELLE I need a book on how to make it without a man in your life ... LUCAS Here ya go. That's two dollars and ten cents. BILLIE And this road map of Georgia? KATE One dollar. SAMI I said it before, I'll say it again - you will all pay! JOHN And that's a fact. BRADY Excuse me, I'm looking for a cheap one way ticket to Vienna? JACK If you're good at doing laundry and you don't mind wearing a freaky scarf on your head, I can get you a great deal to just about anywhere! PHIL I'm lookin for some Mr. T chains ... KATE Sorry. My wardrobe is not for sale. Tuesday February 22 Quote of the DAY BO You know how much I love you. LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BILLIE Oh Bow! BO Actually I was talkin to Hope ... JENNIFER Where oh where is Jack? I need him to save me from this purple starfish they keep wrapping around my neck. JACK Coming Jennifer! I feel your pain! They keep making me wear this strange scarf around my head! SEA CAPTAIN I been smoking the same cigar for over two weeks! SAMI I've had the same storylines for 10 freakin years! Kate will pay! Kate will pay! MR. BROOM Guess I'm the only thing that sweeps around here. Monday February 21 Quote of the DAY JUDGE KENNY CORDAY You are out of order! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JUDGE KENNY Here are the ten commandments ... 1. Thou shalt not use my name in vain! 2. Thou shalt not fast forward repeated scenes repeated scenes repeated scenes! 3. Thou shalt not steal Kupee doll! 4. Thou shalt not watch the show with one eye open! 5. Thou shalt not watch the show with both eyes closed! 6. Thou shalt not assume anyone is not expendable! 7. Thou shalt not lie with another man's wife! 8. Thou shalt not make Alice's donuts without her permission! 9. Thou shalt not forget to bow to me at each meeting! 10. Thou shalt not forget to visit the DaysCafe and giggle at the way they poke fun at everyone, including me! BILLIE Um, I have a question about number 7 ...? HOPE Get the hell out of my house! PHIL Hello, Belle? I don't know where I am and where I'm going, I just know I'm going there, ok? KENNY C Overruled! Sustained! Mistrial! Dismissed! Joe Brown! Here comes the judge! BRADY Gosh, I hope I'm like him someday. Friday February 18 Quote of the DAY SHAWN Get out!!! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JAN You can throw me out but you can't throw away our love ... SHAWN I don't care! JAN You can say you don't care but our love will carry you ... SHAWN Go to hell! JAN You can damn me to hell but my love will burn forever ... SHAWN I don't want you to stay! JAN Our love is here to stay ... SHAWN What do they pay you to say this stuff? JAN I get a year's supply of designer cosmetics for me and Kupee, plus an expensive wardrobe - which is more than I can say for you, you pasty shirtless alert! BELLE Don't insult my Shawn! JAN He's all yours - till after lunch. That's when we do our next scene and I recite all the lines from Love Story as he throws my clothes out the window... Thursday February 17 Quote of the DAY SHAWN A guy should remember who he's in love with. LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR PHIL May I have this dance? REX I'm in love with Mims and that's how come I keep smiling like I'm in a cult. I am the leader of Cult Mimi. MIMI Nooooo, I'm not worthy! Keep seeing ghost baby! BRADY Speaking of kids ... perhaps your ghost child would be interested in this new book I'm writing. It has really cool pictures and it's called "Where's Chloe." SAMI All I can remember is how much I hate Kate! Hiss! KATE Hiss! JAN Shawn, you can kill me but my love for you will never die! Wednesday February 16 Quote of the DAY JOHN What's happened to me? LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JOHN It's this hair, I can't see a damn thing! Where'd everybody go? Doc? BRADY Punch me out, dad ... JOHN Don't tempt me! BRADY Oh my gosh, did you hear that growling? JOHN Don't worry, it's just muh hair ... Gets pretty snarky when I don't give it lunch on time. BRADY I am so happy to have this quality time with you. Where's Kate? JOHN Off doin what she does best - repeating herself, hiding in people's closets ... BRADY You two would make such a cute couple! JOHN Shut the hell up! BRADY We are so well connected, you and I. VICTOR NEWMAN Listen to me John, listen to me. Don't trust your son, he'll take away your company and disobey you, you got that, right, listen ... Tuesday February 15 Quote of the DAY LUCAS It's over! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SAMI Finally! I thought that freakin night would never end ... Nice seein ya Brandon but I am outta here ... Time for maternity leave ... KATE John, I will now pose with you again for Phoenix Reality Television ... ROMAN Say doc, wanna neck? BILLIE What about me, huh! Who is gunna neck with me huh! KEYSTONE COP Say, you pack a good punch. See you in court. BILLIE Thanks! MICKEY (sigh) The birds on this show, they're all the same! BO Billie, yer comin home with me - Hope and I are gonna adopt you. Monday February 14 Quote of the DAY REX Something's wrong ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR MIMI I know, the ghost kid should be way younger. SHAWN Belle, do you yahoo? BELLE Not now, Shawn! SHAWN MSN messaging? BRADY Dad, I'm reporting you for being a common junkie. JOHN How dare yuh call me a common junkie! Everyone knows I'm an uncommon junkie - and that's a fact! EUGENIA If they make me wear another one of these stupid wigs, I swear, I will quit my post as secretary of state and then they'll really be sorry! Friday February 11 Quote of the DAY BILLIE No means no! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SHAWN That's what I tell my barber every time he tries to like cut my bangs and that's why me and Belle are gonna get back together, she doesn't like her ol' man cos Philip has no bangs ... REX Belle and Philip are married!!! SHAWN But it doesn't count cos he's a dork so it's not an official marriage. BELLE He does make a valid point, you know. By the way, where can I send an email message from around here? BO Try this cool hotline. It's the latest in Salem technology - honks like a horn but will email the forlorn ... JOHN Smell that salty air,man. What a buzz! Thursday February 10 Quote of the DAY KATE Sometimes people change their mind ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR LUCAS Yeah, I know. It's called contract negotiations. KATE You weren't supposed to say that until next week. LUCAS How damn long will I have to stand in this spot anyhow! Plus, my shirt hasn't been washed for ten whole days! That's right - I've been standing here, listening to you, repeating the same response for the last ten days now! And when is somebody gonna replace this dumb prop telephone with one that doesn't look like it's from the 1970s! JOHN That's 80s son and don't ferget it. KATE Dex Dexter! You've come back to me! JOHN Yup, I just been sleepin fer the last 25 years on account of that bad weed. Good ta be back, Alexis. Wednesday February 9 Quote of the DAY BRADY That sounded like Chloe ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR NICOLE That was the telephone, you dork! DR. STICKY FINGERS Mrs. Kiriakis, would you and your very deep wallet like me to wake up all the guests so you can see how they sing and dance, after which you might care to leave me a little something ... NICOLE Like what? DR. STICKY FINGERS A tip? NICOLE Don't date Brady or you'll live to regret it - how's that for a tip! JACK When do I get to go on deck? CAPTAIN CIGAR When I decide ye needs te walk the plank! BILLIE Plank - is that some kinda drink? Tuesday February 8 Quote of the DAY BO The whole thing was a DiMera trick ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR BRADY A trick, you mean like the way Nicole always tricks me? DOC Say, what you like to meet our bandaged singing patient and fall in love all over again? BRADY Sure, why not. BRUCE W. Sorry, you missed your chance. Hi doll! CHLOE So many men, so little gauze ... BRADY Who is that guy? I think I've seen him before, perhaps in the Vienna newspaper. SHAWN (exasperated) Cut the crap, Belle, just write Philip and tell him he's a dork already! I don't understand what's taking you so long. Monday February 7 Quote of the DAY MIMI Stop tormenting me! LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR REX Aw, Mims, I had no idea seeing me shirtless effected you so much ... BELLE I love Shawn but I married Philip but I want to be with Shawn but I will never have my marriage annulled ... PILOT Look here toots, you either get on the plane or you don't! BELLE I will not I can't but I'm coming and you can't make me anyway. SHAWN Great, I've got our boarding passes. It's not too late. Pilot, follow that Fedex plane! We've gotta catch it and tell someone he's got the wrong tracking number! SAMI Zzzz ... this isn't happening ... I'm not lying next to Hugh Heffner in a jacuzzi ... will go back to sleep ... must wake up ... EUGENIA Kate, I need a few minutes off. CNN wants me to give another press conference. KATE Eugenia, how many times do I have to tell you, you are not the Secretary of State! DAN R. Shoot, that means our interview was as bogus as a five layered taco on a budget jumping wilder than a mad cow on a day hotter than hell under a dancing Texan presidential hat with nowhere to go but up. Friday February 4 Quote of the DAY MARLENA Remember that I love you ... LINES THE VIEWERS DIDN'T GET TO HEAR JOHN I can remember everything as if it were yesterday. JOHN (singing) We met at nine MARLENA (singing) We met at eight JOHN (singing) I was on time MARLENA (singing) You were with Kate! JOHN (singing) Ah yes, I remember it well JOHN (singing) We took a stroll MARLENA (singing) We kissed with cream JOHN (singing) I was a mole MARLENA (singing) It was a dream! JOHN (singing) Ah yes, I remember it well ... I was Sir John Black much MARLENA (singing) You were Roman too JOHN (singing) Am I losing touch? MARLENA (singing) Oh no, not you How buff you are, without a grey A shirtless rogue, so ISA ... JOHN (raising eyebrow) Ah yes, I remember it well! TONY (not singing) What a bunch of bloody romantic propaganda! JOHN And that's a fact. |