| Over 2000 Logic Bloopers! |
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| Monday March 6, 2006 Sami is a lovely gal but she warns Austin about facial lines just as she is wrinkling her forehead! Tsk tsk! Carrie seems to be all alone - where oh where is papa Roman huh! Mimi is not a coward like she says - but she sure is hoarse from that cold! Has she been standing on rooftops without a jacket like racoon head Phil and the fair Belle? Stay tuned! Come back to the five and dime Jimmy Dean Jimmy Dean - I mean Shawn, cos he sure is very Jimmy Dean these days! NEXT ON DAYS Moonie Marlena remembers she used to go by the name Martha Stewart and denounces Alex for his shoddy place settings. Alex then retaliates by punching out a carrot ... Friday March 3, 2006 Tek's SHIRTLESS ALERT continues ... All this so-called mind control of Marlena will mean she won't be able to have a career as a psychologist ever again! That's why she needs to be Hattie or Martha Stewart or Stefano or anybody cos a duped doc just won't work! Besides, she was always stronger than that. That's right, John, the best way to be a thief in the night is to start talking to yourself out loud! Who the heck put that straw on happy Phil's head and why doesn't he seem to notice?! NEXT ON DAYS Alex North admits he's a 60 year old virgin ... Thursday March 2, 2006 Everything old really is new again, cos when Calliope and Bonnie say "Get it," "Got it," "Good", those are lines from an old Danny Kay movie called "The Court Jester" - and it's a real funny one too! Poor Tek's character has been reduced to a sweaty boy toy! How about that plane trip, which appears to have made Hope's hair wavy a la Charlie's Angels (Jacelyn Smith) in a matter of a few airborn hours! Bo is a hoot when hammered! NEXT ON DAYS Abe wonders why Lexie could do what she did - actually get in the car without locking the doors! Wednesday March 1, 2006 What the heck are those bargain chandeliers on Chelsea's ears! Without the them there millions of flashbacks, the show woulda been about 15 minutes long today - and that's a fact! Morgan's Island airport looks like some pieces of Dot com mixed with the Salem Island airport set, plus cheapo wallpaper! And when did Sami fly down to Morgan's Island, where she must have got that cute, unexplained suntan on her face! NEXT ON DAYS Bo shoots his script ... Tuesday February 28, 2006 And how the heck are they gonna redeem Marlena who has pledged to loving Alex day after day after day! Where oh where are Calliope's famous vibes? She would have had at least one by now about Shawn's baby! Abe is so smart and cool, this man needs to be head of the ISA, the mayor, the president,you get the picture! Bo was loud and Hope was a few feet away - surely she would have heard him at the airport! Calliope is in a lovely summer ensemble while Kate runs around in her Grizzly Adams fur - so what dang season is it in Salem anyhow! NEXT ON DAYS Westside Story John puts Forest Gump North into the morgue ... Austin sends himself an email and Carrie accuses him of being a mean spammer ... Monday February 27, 2006 Hey! How come Caroline's always at the pub working, never grandpa Shawn by jingo! Nevertheless, the pub is one super set - even though no one ever drinks a thing there! And sooo many Salem folks repeat repeat rehash what's been going on, which makes one wonder - are most viewers only monthly watchers?! Lexie must be exhausted - not from her Tek romps, but from those heavy Christmas decorations she always has hanging on her ears like weights ... And Tek gets yet another horny SHIRTLESS ALERT! NEXT ON DAYS Chelsea gets a life ... Hope and Patrick coincidentally pack the same underwear for their holiday - oh lalala! Friday February 24, 2006 Super to see Calliope but who the heck gave her that crazy hat! Yay! Patrick's hair is clean today - yet his eyebrows are suddenly twice as thick as yesterday! Did Chelsea intend to refer to Abby as ABS?! On the wall right behind John at the pub is written the word PEACOCK! NEXT ON DAYS Alex finally tells the truth - that he is a zombie ... Thursday February 23, 2006 Bo gets a fuzzy SHIRTLESS ALERT Marlena, meanwhile, plays the virgin bride as John Dex Dexter whispers up a throaty storm ... Still, he is a buff and tough dude, whereas horse whisperer Alex is a hobbler ... POW! Right in the kisser! Go John go! But it was so hard and cracked, a jaw would have been broken! Our fav tough guy then punches out the elevator button, too! Never mind warm and sunny, Patrick ought to go somewhere to wash his hair first! Grease is the word is the word that you heard ... NEXT ON DAYS Chelsea gets into the Guiness book of records for the world's longest frown ... Wednesday February 22, 2006 Bo gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT Chelsea, meanwhile, should never wear pink! Not a good fit! Finally a cop who doesn't act Keystone - and it's a gal! Margaret Thatcher and other women (?) of power would be most pleased! Guess what? One year ago, Hope was upset about Bo hanging out with Billie! Revived rehashed yes - but rewritten? Evidently not! Just re-used! Ever notice the show has been using the same few bars of piano music day after day after day?! NEXT ON DAYS Bonnie decides to put on Marlena's wedding dress ... Donald Trump calls up Shawn and tells him to choose Belle, seeing as she reminds him of one of the apprentices ... Shawn asks Donald Trump why he is silent in his latest ad - Trump reveals his latest gimmick - telepathically firing the world but will it work? Stay tuned! Tuesday February 21, 2006 Sami would certainly not have mistaken Lucas for Austin as Austin stands a good head taller! And why would Carrie's hair be pulled back to emphasize them dark roots?! Meanwhile, Phil is back to his Stanly from "Streetcar Named Desire" look as Shawn and Belle hang out on the rooftop with that cotton snow oh how sweet! But wait! That freezing temperature has no effect on the semi- tropical flowers at the cemetery, in addition to the green rain forest bushes! There is one thing you can always count on in Salem - no matter where they are, every single character with a coffee will carry around the same freakin empty brown coffee cup with a lid on it! NEXT ON DAYS Phil admits he was an extra on Brokeback ... Friday February 17, 2006 Who felt the need to put eyeshadow on Shawn's eyebrows just when he has his intense, closeup scene with Belle! Glorious Kate, on the other hand, looks like a veritable Revlon ad! Austin once more proves himself to be a human SHIRTLESS ALERT Oh come on now! Lois pointing at John in a last minute misunderstanding seconds before her so-called demise is absurd! NEXT ON DAYS Sami accidentally kisses Kenny Corday ... Thursday February 16, 2006 Interesting that Billie gets to keep her ISA credentials despite lying to the cops, interfering with a police investigation, etc... When the cowgirl extra in Bo's first scene laughs, she is the spitting image of Jan Spears so it looks kinda like Jan escaped and snuck in for a few! Marlena continually siding with dickweed North is doing a great dea of damage to her character's credibility! Time to end it, guys! Snap the fingers, have her mind wake up! Abe rocks! Finally an intelligent cop is back in the action but ummm when can he get outta the nightie ...? NEXT ON DAYS Tek welcomes Abe back to the force and offers him his bunny slippers ... Wednesday February 15, 2006 Hope's earrings are suddenly waaaay shinier and brighter than yesterday, which is supposed to be the same night! Chelsea was sooo nasty, how are we supposed to now feel sorry for her? And where the heck is Abby?! So there is no security camera at the hospital? And what is up with that horny Tek?! A thump on the head to AOL boards, where DaysCafe material has been copied and pasted, a clear violation of our rules!!! (hot news/buzz and rumors) DaysCafe is a Link Only site, as is stated throughout. What is AOL supposed to stand for - Always Other' Lines??? Nice guy Phil meanwhile, who is in no way connected with AOL as he prefers the sass and class of the SoapAddict cool discussion site, gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT. NEXT ON DAYS Alex starts appearing on the next season of HOUSE ... Bo's fists get nominated for an Emmy ... Tuesday February 14, 2006 They must be great pals cos Shawn and Mimi often look ready to break out giggling! How morbid that Zack is supposed to have been buried on Valentine's Day (it is the same day today as yesterday and today in Salem is Valentine's Day, so one does the Salem math) And pulease tell Hope to stop smelling Zack's stuff already! Phil is a billionaire's son and yet he does not have a properly fitting, custom suit?! Chez Rouge gets a major elevator music alert! NEXT ON DAYS Patrick's hand wins an Emmy ... Monday February 13, 2006 Gee, not a very happy lead into Valentine's Day! Boohoohoo! And the two Leave it to Beaver coppers are back, proving that there are now only three officers on the force - all under 18! And when are they gonna let Abe outta that hospital nightie? Meanwhile, Tom Jones Tek lurks at the window and Alex's speech impediment chez doc continues ... NEXT ON DAYS Lois tells the truth about her old encounter with Bill Clinton ... Friday February 10, 2006 Who were some of those unknown people - aka extras - who looked like they were crashing Zack's funeral??? Patrick - who has now been rewound back to when he had a crush on Hope, who has suddenly decided that he is her bosom buddy - looks like a limo driver today! Marlena is simply acting too idiotic to be herself ... she must still be under mind control or else she lost her mind altogether! Alex, meanwhile, is more embalmed by the day ... Wardrobe theft! Bonnie is wearing one of Nicole's old feather robes today! NEXT ON DAYS Bo breaks a window, as daughter Chelsea is wearing a Russian fur hat indoors while sniffling and everyone laments about death. Does he break the window due to anger? No, he just breaks it because that's the thing to do in a Russian tragedy ... Thursday February 9, 2006 Shawn gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT Was it really necessary to show Zack's very dead little hand?! Billie to Kate :"This is a new loma!" Well amid all the sniffling and crying, we have one bright spot - Bonnie is a hoot,man! Meanwhile, Frankie sounds like a character out of a Godfather movie as he speaks to Jennifer, who not only is the resident tea maker, but now she sees dead people as well... NEXT ON DAYS Frankie and Jennifer fall down the stairs together and make a baby ... Wednesday February 8, 2006 Looks like Rapunzel Carrie's head of hair suddenly tripled overnight! And stop moaning, Carrie! Top corporate folks don't moan and question themselves! Nicole and Roman getting cozy ... well, no wonder she quit huh! Did they get that Assistant DA from the Munsters or the Addams family cos he seemed kinda eerie! Abe is the smartest dude in town so he would definitely sense that Tek was really after Lexie, come on now! NEXT ON DAYS The DA orders Bo to arrest himself while he's at it ... Tuesday February 7, 2006 Let's look on the bright side - if Chelsea gets locked in prison, at least we won't have to listen to her sniffing and snorting and snorting and sniffing! Hope's voice mail does not sound like her so it is either someone else's voice or one verrry out of character actress! Speaking of loud sniffing ... one realizes Hope is unhappy but is it really necessary to portray this by having her sniffle loudly into the microphone at least a dozen times - in the first 15 minutes of the show?! Oh come on now! We are supposed to believe Lexie has enough energy to work 22 hours a day at the hospital and still have energy for that lovebug Tek?! It is becoming more and more evident that Sami and Bonnie are from the same gene pool ... NEXT ON DAYS Tek makes a pass at the director's wife ... Monday February 6, 2006 Austin's SHIRTLESS ALERT continues as his pecs (haha no pun intended) take on a vibe of their own flex flex... Bonnie, meanwhile, has managed to acquire more makeup whilst lying in that hospital bed! Caroline is looking great so here's to hoping the brass doesn't get mad about it like they did some years past! An interesting dact: (Days fact) she used to be good friends with Joe Mascalo (Stefano) when he was on set. Eww! Belle's sniffling is like some sorta neocitrin commercial! NEXT ON DAYS Bonnie fakes SARS and the entire cast is quarantined ... Friday February 3, 2006 That's right - rehash, repeat everything that happened to Zack, Hope, etc, Patrick, just in case we haven't already heard it enough! Good heavens! Caroline has morphed into Golden Girl Blanche, whose last name happened to be Devereaux! Confusion illusion! Austin gets a very unabashed SHIRTLESS ALERT! And where da heck was the cardiologist at the hospital! NEXT ON DAYS Bonnie fakes she is pregnant with Mickey's child ... Carrie agrees to be a volunteer intern at Titan ... Sami re-invents herself as a saucy milkmaid called Helga ... Thursday February 2, 2006 Poor Carrie has morphed into a professional moper ... (derived from mope, not mop) Hopefully going back to work will get her outta that funk. Sami, meanwhile, is starting to have a face identical to Bonnie's! (both good lookin gals but they are lookin mighty related of late) Well now, if some folks suddenly feel inspired to start posting all over the net on account of this logic bloopa that Bonnie is Sami's real mama and Jimmy Reilly goes "Hey, what a great idea!" and makes it happen, then you read it here first har har! As Jan's endless coma continues, who is paying the bills and what has happened to her house!! Don Bo!! That dude is so slick, they gotta make him more than a Keystone flunkie! Max, however, is dressed like a vagabond ... NEXT ON DAYS Zack returns and writes REDRUM on all Chelsea's mirrors ... (reference to the Shining) Wednesday February 1, 2006 LAW 101: As an officer of the court (licensed lawyer), Frankie is required to report a crime - Chelsea hitting Zach, not to mention Billie's perjury! Poor John once more has become a shell, a floater, as Alex is given a storyline, a strong character, not to mention his wife! What da hell ...? Are the Zach effects really necessary? But more importantly, does he get royalties every time they show his personal effects or use his voice?! NEXT ON DAYS Larry, Curly and Bo - oops, that's Mo - refuse to divulge the real identity of Godzilla, who happened to be hitchiking when Chelsea sped past on Kenny Corday's electronic skateboard ... Tuesday January 31, 2006 We have more Young and Restless mirroring going on as on Days the parent tries to take the wrap for the killer child while on Y&R it's the other way around ... Didn't Sami look nice for the courtroom scene - was it a cocktail party? Chelsea laments about baby bro Zack, with whom she spent zippo time! That was cold, hard snow outside and yet Kate's cleavage doesn't even get cold! Yes, EVERYBODY with a half brain already knew Billie was still on the jet when Zack got killed so pulease tell us something we didn't already know for a change! NEXT ON DAYS Patrick finds Hoffa and also solves the mystery of how they get the peanut butter in the peanut butter cups ... Monday January 30, 2006 Our beloved doc in denim - aka Marlena - is developing more Hattie-esque mannerisms by the Day! And what makes Alex the genius and Dr. Lois assume they are not being recorded?! John, meanwhile, is sounding like Dex Dexter again ... Hey! Phil used to have blond hair but then when he left the Marines he became of all things - a brunette! NEXT ON DAYS Phil joins the Air Force and becomes a flaming redhead ... Friday January 27, 2006 Talk about a false cliffhanger! Chelsea the snorter doesn't come clean boohoohoo blah blah blah! Marlena is morphing into a barbie doll - but Alex sure ain't no Ken! Speaking of Alex, if he says "of course" one more time, I shall screeeeeam! Mebadfan mebadfan cos I sure love Lois! She is a hoot! So Claire has a liver transplant and practically the next day the gang can pick her up, pass her aound?! NEXT ON DAYS Alex sets up a kissing booth ... Thursday January 26, 2006 Patrick and Max are starting to look related! Today Chelsea moans "Sak's never going to grow up." Maybe not - but Macy's will! Max then says that if Chelsea lets things continue, she's not the girl he thought she was, but she has never been anything but one mean girl! "I love her, she loves me" quips Barney ... oops I mean Austin! And the two 13 year old Leave it to Beaver cops are back! NEXT ON DAYS Kleenex offers the cast a year's supply of tissue sniff sniff ... Wednesday January 25, 2006 That's right, Patrick, make yourself at home in the cop station office as you conduct your interrogation cos the Keystone Cops sure don't seem to notice do they ... Who threw that wayward bushel of hay onto Jennifer's head and why'd they do it! STOP THE SNIFFLING! BLOW YOUR NOSE, PEOPLE! It is called a KLEENEX! But don't make us listen to that either! Go Lois go! At least somebody had some energy in today's episode! NEXT ON DAYS Lois the loon and Larry Welch announce their engagement ... Tuesday January 24, 2006 Not only did Carrie lose the business but she also looks ready to lose those hair extensions every time her head moves! "I can't go to Dale," Chelsea complains. Who the heck is Dale?! I thought they put you in JAIL for hit and run! Meanwhile, that shot of Hope with Zack's shirt looks just like a fabric softener commercial. NEXT ON DAYS Kate's coat escapes from the zoo ... Abby's bicycle is impounded by the Keystone Cops, who are looking for evidence of something, they're just not sure what ... Monday January 23, 2006 Confusion or intrusion? At first glance, Nicole in her new brunette wig looks just like Hope! The views outside the windows are all very interesting and urban - but didn't Salem used to be a town ...? Physio anyone? Poor Frankie's leg seems to be getting worse by the day! And the sniffling into the close microphones yuckily continues! NEXT ON DAYS Carrie starts a dancercize studio and bars Austin from ever entering ... Friday January 20, 2006 Kate looks more and more like a very attractive wall hanging! She then commends Shawn for having matured - but she sure hasn't! Say! Shawn is good at being suspicious and smart! They need to make him a reporter, he'd be great! Meanwhile,Carrie stands around moaning but not much else ... Alex is so desirable that two women want him - huh?! Alrighteee NEXT ON DAYS Austin takes over Carrie's credit cards and ebay account, while Sami suggests he snag her funny hats collection as well ... Thursday January 19, 2006 Once again, there is less than no security at the Harmony hospital of mad mad happenings! Patrick looks like a cute surfer dude but with that unflattering facial hair,it becomes more of a Grinch who Stole Xmas look! Shave the Grinch, bring back surfer dud! Oh gawd! The camera angles are sometimes starting to be like how they were when we had the serial killer story! Eeeeek! Meanwhile, Frankie of foxy voice fame is limping worse by the day! NEXT ON DAYS Out of sheer guilt, Jennifer breaks Frankie's arms so he can't hug her ... Wednesday January 18, 2006 He is supposed to be corporate but Austin seems to be sporting more of a ranch hand look with his duds! Two questions - who is this imposter and where did the real Max go! I want Chelsea charged, too - for snorting into everyone's tv! Ewww! Meanwhile, Carrie is slowly morphing into Laura ... NEXT ON DAYS Nicole's earrings drive away ... Alex confesses that he and Lois are ghostbusters on acid ... Tuesday January 17, 2006 Austin gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT Nicole wears her jacket indoors whilst working at the computer?! Kate, meanwhile, goes for the Peter the Great look, with her heavy fur, disheveled hair and bearing as her arm not so elegantly gets caught in that loong necklace! Jennifer's scarf is long to the point of actually being hazardous! It seems kinda unrealistic - even for Days world - that they gather around Claire's bed talking ABOUT Claire instead of To her! Oh come on! Carrie says her employees need to start looking for other jobs before she has any facts! But the best logic blooper of the Day is Jennifer telling Frankie "You can't make tea with your leg." NEXT ON DAYS Frankie sets out to prepare a cup of coffee using only his big toe ... Austin also takes over Sami's bathroom, via spam emails sent by Nicole ... Jack's next secret dvd is discovered, in which he moons all his enemies ... Monday January 16, 2006 ToDAY... Chelsea continues to whine ... Characters continue to repeat repeat repeat themselves ... And how about those hairstylists on the other side, who gave Zack a lovely fluffy, blowdried look! Where was any character development for Lois? There was none and this is a problem as is the fact that ISA secret agent John brought her to Salem, making him appear to be a very big, very unISA dolt, which is very unfair! NEXT ON DAYS Austin sets free all the shrimp at Red Lobster ... Marlena and Lois start shooting for their next project, a "Docs Gone Wild" video! Chelsea runs over the milkman and makes Billie take the rap ... Friday January 13, 2006 Welcome to Friday the 13th!Continue if you dare ... HOLY FREAKIN FANTASTIC! Bo (Peter Reckell) is a GREAT DRAMATIC ACTOR! The dude shoulda had the chance to showcase his talent ages ago! But, as they say, better late than never ... Hey! Lisa Rinna (ex-Billie) can dance so fab but she never got a chance to strut her stuff in Salem! What a pity. In today's opening scene at the hospital, they speak of Claire and we see Piglet from Winnie the Pooh in the crib! This makes one wonder - which is the real Claire - Kupee or Piglet? Rumor has it Winnie the Pooh could not be reached for comment ... Meanwhile, Max appears to have morphed into a big, angry elf. No peach fuzz and cross expressions, please! There are only 2 men in Salem who wear beards well - Abe and Bo - while Lucas is a suave moustache wearer. Other than that, no way, doesn't work, keep the rest of the fellas clean shaven! Austin and Carrie have just stepped off the pages of a winter catalogue ... Crikey! Could Lois the Loon be any more conspicuous walking around with her big needle! NEXT ON DAYS Alex North accuses NBC of being run by psychopaths who do not buy his trinkets ... Thursday January 12, 2006 Lucas and Sami's SHIRTLESS ALERT continues amid the silliness ... Sniff sniff! Sounds like Lexie's allergies are acting up again. Perhaps she's allergic to being chained to the hospital huh! Talk about overwork! Belle sniffs up a storm too, as does Chelsea, and who can blame these folks but does the microphone have to be so snorting close?! Who gave Shawn that electric shock that made his hair stand on end like that ... zzzzz! ouch! Me Don King now! As it turns out, the rookie cops are not powdered teens - they're really zombies! Alert alert! They work for Lois the Loon so please be sure to turn off your tv at the end of the day! NEXT ON DAYS Phil fights the thing on his head masquerading as hair - and wins! The zombie Keystone cops take the entire cast to DiMeraland, Europe, for a ski holiday ... Wednesday January 11, 2006 Shawn really DID remember being with Belle right after it happened so it's silly that they now act like he forgot and wonders why he feels so close to Claire! Good grief! What is up with the sleepwalkfest of SHIRTLESS Lucas and Sami! Lexie calls Claire precious but the crib is still empty! That having been said - Jan's kupee doll is missing! Elementary, my dear Watson! The kupee lives! NEXT ON DAYS Sami and Lucas dream of marrying Austin and Carrie in Las Vegas - and then wake up married to each other! Zack's old storybook notes help save the writers ... Tuesday January 10, 2006 Bo and Hope would have had a priest on scene at Zack's bedside ages ago! Where or where is Father Irish Accent when you need him! Phil says he thinks it's time - it is time, for them to take that thing off his head, by jingo! He is supposed to be the heir not so apparent of Greek Tycoon Vic! Time for a Mediterranean makeover! Lexie says there is no brain activity for Zack. Of course there is, but the brain activity sure is lacking for a few others hmmm ... Those 13 year old Keystone recruits tell Abe they're developing a strong case - for what, coke versus pepsi??! NEXT ON DAYS The Leave it to Beaver 13 year old powdered Keystone Cops recognize Frankie as the dude from Baywatch and ask when they get to go to the beach ... Monday January 9, 2006 ToDAY Baywatch Frankie watches Days of Our Lives in Jennifer's kitchen ... At first, when Mimi and Shawn are sitting on the floor, conversing in grief, it looks like they've been having a major makeout session! (Behind the scenes perhaps? hehe) Who powdered those 13 year old Keystone Cop newbies to make them look embalmed is what I'd like to know! Nice young powdery fellas! NEXT ON DAYS Zack finds out he would have been working with David Hasselhoff in future scenes and tells Soap Digest that he would have quit anyhow ... Hope admits her middle name is Emmy ... Yowza! Gimme a ballot ta vote cos she's dynamite! Friday January 6, 2006 Looks like that Cousin It wig made its way back onto Jennifer's head! Meanwhile Frankie gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT but he's like used to it cos he's Mr. Baywatch ... though David Hasselhoff would be disappointed to see how now even basic shower skills elude the surf dude ... A Julie sighting amid the madness! Glad to see she escaped from the CBS gremlins holding her hostage on Y&R! Where was the priest at Zack's bedside? There's always one at the hospital ... Tear jerkers are not my thang so my question is - the little fella who played Zack is a much loved cutie so what show's gonna pick him up next! Don't fret JAC at AOL - the lines the viewers didn't get to hear are still around! The link is on the mainpage and called "Quote of the Day". The test will be on Monday. On second thought, here's a test for everyone right now - who said (for real) "Happy 40th Anniversary and Keep up the great work" The clock is ticking, folks ... Tick tock! If you Guessed DONALD TRUMP, then you are a winner! NEXT ON DAYS Zack wakes up and wonders why he is surrounded by people with SARS pretending to be doctors ... Frankie and Jennifer hold hands in the loo ... Donald Trump applies to be the next DaysCafe apprentice ... Thursday January 5, 2006 Geesh, more bad news in the world ... did we really need more?! Wow! Amazing how Belle has that nice Academy Awards type makeup on her eyes while keeping vigil at the hospital huh! Phil says toxins are building in Claire's system but there is no Claire, there never has been - she's a blanket! Wish I didn't have to say but it happened and so here goes that Alex gets a SHIRTLESS ALERT! Did you close your eyes?! Those coppers at the scene of the accident look about thirteen years old! NEXT ON DAYS Andrew Lloyd Webber accuses Chelsea of stealing his Phantom of the Opera chandeliers and putting them on her ears ... Wednesday January 4, 2006 Kate's glamorous earrings look almost lethal as they swing around! Speaking of lethal, if he knew Lois the Loon was a menace, why did North wait so long to save the fair doc! At their first meeting, he just stood around like a nincampoop! Was he sleepwalking perhaps? Meanwhile, Chelsea looks like Carmen meets Grease ... And she doesn't want anyone to know about her accident so she tells everyone about it! We all know that wasn't the cute little fella who played Zack whimpering cos that would have been too costly ... that was the Furby on set! NEXT ON DAYS John threatens to throw the Martha Stewart off the balcony, too ... Tuesday January 3, 2006 Keystone Cops alert! The station has anti-security and peewee North knocks down Salem's almost finest ... One could almost hear the crazy piano music in the background! Yikes! Lois looks like Jan Spears aged about 40 years! Shake it, Lucas! What a fun-meister he is! And Tom Jones Tek is back! Shimi continue to be sooo cute that we really will have a real triangle on our hands once Belle remembers her hot night with Shawn, the young Elvis Presley of Salem! Poor li'l Zack. Today was like Days of Our Deaths. Moral of the story : Don't go looking for your cat that sounds like a dog on a dark street when a freaky girl with a neon bandaid on her head is behind the wheel ... Glamour girl Lexie never looks tired and yet she is always at the hospital doing ... everything! What's her secret? Is she ingesting botox?! NEXT ON DAYS Lois admits her last name is Hitchcock Friday December 30, 2005 Never mind getting a company, how about letting Austin get a clue! Mr. Corporate big city slicker sure would know how to find out who the CEO of High Style was all by his big, corporate self ... Not just North - now Marlena too is a horse whisperer! The horse whispering is contagious! When Phil told Belle "It's really bad," I really assumed he was talking about that thing they put on his head ... Oh oh! Zack's folks referring to how he's always been such a good boy - that's just gonna make even more people upset ... Chelsea will have to leave the show soon, too ... And Bo would not have let menace Chelsea drive with his car on New Year's eve, come on now! Surely Belle's brother Eric would care to show up and see baby Claire ... NEXT ON DAYS Lois the Loon asks Bo to sign her temporary pilot's license and he says sure, what the heck ... Thursday December 29, 2005 It's FUN TV as ... Whether it's supposed to be Los Angeles or Salem, it's still the same park with the same lights! When John mutters he is gonna book Alex, the way he says it sounds like a very Hawaii Five-O moment! He then shows up at the police station which looks like the cop shop from that 1970s tv show Barney Miller! The way Salemites keep talking to themselves, one wonders if they are going to morph into some of those folks from Passions any minute now! Kate, meanwhile, is Grizzley Adams ... NEXT ON DAYS The Golden Girls accuse Alex of being a bad neighbor way back when ... Wednesday December 28, 2005 Lucas is sweet but he tells the florist he'd like pink roses, red roses - those "exotic flowers" as he calls them!!! Roman calls Carrie "Shweethat" a la Humphrey Bogart! as she smiles at him through her Farrah Fawcett mane ... Was Lois the Loon sittimg down in today's episode? Geesh, and I thought I was tiny! Meanwhile diva Kate's outfit makes her look like a cross between Mata Hari and Little Red Riding Hood while Austin - that hospital hot chocolate date -seems to be wearing someone else's coat. Alert! Shawn's Elvis sideburns are making a comeback! NEXT ON DAYS Shawn Elvis gets Claire a pair of blue suede shoes and invites her to Graceland ... Tuesday December 27, 2005 No wonder Will is ready for film school!! TODAY Sami is dressed like a Solid Gold dancer Will himself is a Greg Brady clone - of Brady Bunch fame Carrie is very Heidi with that braid While Lucas, with that sweatshirt, has somehow morphed into Jean-Claude Van Damme! NEXT ON DAYS Austin sets out to take over Joan Rivers' line of jewelery ... Joan Rivers tells Austin to take a hike ... Alex admits he is really Pinocchio on botox ... Monday December 26, 2005 Bo is that 70s show in that shirt today! Rock on a la David Cassidy! When is someone gonna give Phil that Extreme Makeover that is still waiting to happen! Oh lordy! Lucas cannot tell the difference between Sami and Carrie from behind - the lad needs new contact lenses! And so another holiday day goes on and on and on ... NEXT ON DAYS Heff makes a cameo at the cabin - as himself! Friday December 23, 2005 Bonnie sure seems to be a wannabe Dolly Parton while Sami goes "I Dream of Genie" !! John says he's gonna call every cop and ISA contact he knows - let's see, that would be about 5 guys huh! Shane (of "the Nanny" fame), Roman, Tek and a couple of Keystone fellas! If sweet Abby wishes to know how Chelsea is doing, why doesn't she pick up the telephone and ask her! Hope is wearing the most stylish white coat and it looks preeetttty expensive ... Meanwhile, Austin goes for a Don Ho Hawaiian look and Carrie is a rhinestone cowboy ... NEXT ON DAYS Carrie asks Lucas if she can ride back to Salem on the Titan spaceship and sit next to William Shatner (Captain Kirk), the funniest man alive - and that's a fact! Alex is found partying at Heff's mansion, having made Marlena believe she was really at his cabin retreat ... Thursday December 22, 2005 He's slick, he's tough talking, and in those dark, elegant clothes, Bo is like a character from the Godfather movie! Don Bo? The Christmas decorations and sets are beautiful but where are the chocolates????! Swiss chocolates and the holiday would be complete! Poor sweet Jennifer - exactly one year ago today, Jack was also missing and presumed dead. Ahhhhhhhhh! NEXT ON DAYS Austin takes over the Gap ... Wednesday December 21, 2005 Becky needs to find a romance of her own! So much beautiful snow in Salem and yet no one in town goes skiing or skating or snowboarding, not even nearby! Tsk tsk! Abby in black cape was a tad eerie! Meanwhile Chelsea slides across the ice and snow on her high heels ... Frankie's tresses grew an inch since yesterday! How about that gel! He then talks about the firm and one wonders if he is going to soon be like Tom Cruise in that movie "The Firm" ... running lawyers ... running ... How do we know that was the real Julie and not her twin, who was recently in Genoa City! The Lucas/Sami bantering might be a tad repetitive but it is really funny! NEXT ON DAYS Jack shows up at his service, to serenade Jennifer ... Tuesday December 20, 2005 Brady pub anyone? Where did it go! The pub was a happening place! Minding the station??? That nurse didn't even ask the name of Bo's loved one, she just said "she's gone"... but all Bo said was that a young girl was brought in!!! Oops! On his way down the stairs at the concert, Austin stumbles and almost takes a fall whilst Carrie chats on the phone, saying she is a big fan of the ... pause ... the Stones! Yup! Finally remembered the name of that band! Meanwhile, we are back to Austin, who sees Carrie everywhere ... This is CNN ... Indeed. That cop Bo spoke to was a John King clone! NEXT ON DAYS Jack is found at the pub, as he couldn't resist the great food ... Monday December 19, 2005 Nice to see the Bradys are always praying for miracles but don't ever seem to show up for church on Sundays! Austin spying Carrie on screen at the mobbed concert was about as likely as Titanic, when those 2 lovebirds (Dicaprio/Winslet) kept finding each other on deck ! It was fun, though ... Speaking of the concert ... Jump Up, Sami! I thought she was very Carabana today ! (did Mick Jagger notice? Speaking of the Mick - Did he really finish those songs that kept getting cut off ? And how about those energy bars he must be popping!) Meanwhile, the false cliffhangers are starting to make Tammy Fay's eyelashes look real - cos that's how false they are! She's a lovely lady, though. Tammy Fay, that is, not the false Days cliffhanger gremlin! NEXT ON DAYS MTV takes over NBC ... Sami jumps up to the London Philharmonic ... Bono takes over as head writer ... Leonardo Dicaprio suggests renaming the FancyFace "Titanic" and Bo Brady nixes idea ... |